Dear Plantar Wart,
I know we've had our ups and downs in the four months since you decided to attach yourself to my foot. I attempt to excise you, and you just keep coming back. I must say, I am impressed by your tenacity. You are a worthy opponent, and I give you my grudging respect. No matter what I try, you never quit. Even when I whittle you down to nothing, you just wait until I think everything is getting back to normal and reappear with a vengeance. You are devious and sneaky, like a ninja.
So here's to you, Wart. As I continue my efforts to destroy you, your children, and so on to the seventh generation, know that I will never forget our epic conflict of 2011. May they sing about our battles for generations to come.
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Seriously Wants You to Die!
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