To me, you are the greatest flavor of ice cream ever. Others may prefer vanilla, chocolate, or chocolate-chip cookie dough, but for me, there's nothing like a scoop, cone, or bowl of strawberry. It doesn't even matter who makes you, because whether you come from Blue Bell, Breyers, or the local supermarket brand, you are always delicious. You are great with pie, cake, or in a milkshake. You are practically perfect in every way.
Even as a young child, I always preferred you over all other flavors. I was never actually a fan of chocolate ice cream. I know, a child who doesn't like chocolate ice ream? I also didn't like chocolate milk, so you can see that I've always been a little strange. You didn't judge me, you accepted me for my quirks.
The thing is, I still don't like chocolate ice cream or chocolate milk. I don't know why, because I love chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, and most chocolate. It's just that chocolate plus dairy doesn't add up to me. I know it doesn't make any sense, but there you go.
It's not like I have any animosity to people who prefer chocolate ice cream. Just because I prefer strawberry is no reason to deny other people chocolate. Their choice of ice cream doesn't diminish my satisfaction with strawberry, not one bit. It would be silly of me to want to lead a crusade against chocolate ice cream because of some misguided belief that their preference somehow threatens mine.
Because in the end, ice cream is good, and you, strawberry ice cream, are delicious. But what's even more delicious is all the ways you can be served. Sometimes I like to mix you with Butterfinger. All I do is crush you up, sprinkle you on, and it's a flavor combination like no other. The best part is the knowledge that my wife can't stand that combination, meaning she'll never steal a bit of you for herself. You're all mine.
Even better is mixing you with liqueur. (Credit goes to The Big Bang Theory for giving my wife and I that idea.) I've found mixing you with strawberry liqueur is the perfect combination and a great way to end a long day. I never realized that ice cream could get better when you became a grown-up.
So there you go, strawberry ice cream. You were there for me as a kid, you're there for me now, and you'll be there for me until my dying day. Thank you for being so darn good.
Flavorfully yours,
Charles B. French
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To our Future Robot Overlords
To Coasters
To Mechanical Pencil
To Battletoads
To People who sit in their parked cars
To IMDB
To The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Nintendo
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